Lost Portrait

For an English assignment at school, when 16 years old, I was asked to discuss the thought that “Inside each one of us there is an evil monster struggling to get out”. I used as my main resource The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde. For those unfamiliar with the story, a handsome young man Dorian has a portrait painted which perfectly captures his beauty. In an act of vanity, he sells his soul to the devil so that his physical beauty will never fade, whilst instead the portrait changes to reflect his decay both physically and morally. The portrait grows increasingly hideous and vile as the story progresses and eventually has to be kept hidden in the attic out of sight, covered up, as it becomes too shocking to set eyes upon.

As a Christian, I have been lugging this vile portrait around with me. As my understanding of God’s holiness has grown, so has the ugliness of my portrait. Any time I dared to peer at my portrait, I would recoil in horror at what I saw there. Exhortations to test myself to examine whether I was in the faith literally ended in despair when confronted by my portrait.

I was the Romans 7 Christian. “What a wretched man I am!” (Rom 7:24).

This week, as I tried looking for this portrait, I realised with some shock that it has gone. Completely gone. God has taken it away. I no longer carry it around with me. I am free from it. Praise God!

This Romans 7 Christian has, by God’s grace, been brought into the full truth of the gospel gloriously set before us in Romans 8.

“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death” (Rom 8:1-2); “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry ‘Abba’, Father”. (Rom 8:15); “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Rom 8:37).

The presence of sin in my life is as much a reality as it has ever been. Daily I wrestle with it, I abhor it, I mourn over it, I seek to put it to death, I long, oh how I long for that day when I shall finally be free of it! But I no longer identify myself with it. I count myself dead to sin (Rom 6:11), my sin nature does not have power over me because it is not my master, for I am not under law but under grace (Rom 6:14), it is truly a defeated foe.

The Bible is quite clear as to our position outside of Christ. We were dead in our sins (Eph 2:1), deserving of God’s wrath (Eph 2:3), ungodly (Rom 5:6), enemies of God (Rom 5:10), controlled by the sinful nature (Rom 7:5), slaves to sin (Rom 6:20), living in darkness (Eph 5:8), alienated from God (Col 1:21) separate from Christ, without hope, and without God (Eph 2:12).

BUT NOW, IN CHRIST, all because of His grace, not because of anything we have done, we are new creations (2 Cor 5:17), justified by faith (Gal 2:16), redeemed, forgiven (Eph 1:7), saved (2 Tim 2:10), sanctified (1 Cor 1:2), sons of God (Gal 3:26). We have been marked with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit (Eph 1:13), we have been given righteousness (Phil 3:8), freedom (Gal 2:4), grace (2 Tim 1:9), joy (Phil 1:26), peace (Phil 4:7), and fullness (Col 2:10). We are raised up and seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph 2:6)!

Christ has accomplished so much for us, won so much for us, bought so much for us through His perfect life, His obedience, His death, His resurrection and ascension. Gift upon gift upon gift. And as my understanding of the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints has increased, I see the finished work of Christ on my behalf and I shout in triumph rather than cry out in despair.

The Picture of Dorian Gray has been on my mind for some months. I was toying with the idea of writing a blog post just a few months ago testifying to how my portrait was growing in all its horror as my understanding of God's Holiness and Glory grew. I pray that it gives God a greater glory to testify that instead, He has taken it away.

And I can’t thank Him enough that He has taken it away.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. (2 Cor 1:20).