A poem for when His face is hidden....

When I felt secure, I said,
    “I will never be shaken.” 
⁷ O Lord, when you favored me,
    you made my mountain stand firm;
but when you hid your face, 
    I was dismayed.
Psalm 30:6-7

With Your face turned towards me,

I know peace deep inside;

My steps, though uncertain,

Gladly follow my Guide.

As Your face shines upon me,

Your grace falls like rain,

The path broadens beneath me,

My ankles do not give way.

With Your face turned towards me,

I felt so secure,

Whatever the trial,

I’d faithfully endure.

As Your face shone upon me

Unlit paths became bright,

Hope burned in the darkness

As faith gave me sight.

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O Lord, I’m dismayed!

Your face I can’t see!

The grief in my heart -

It overwhelms me!

I want nothing on earth

Besides You alone!

I’m feeble and crushed;

In anguish I groan.

Darkness now threatens

Giants loom overhead

Fear rises within me

Can’t shake off this dread.

I yearn for those days

When Your face I could see;

To You, Lord, I call,

I cry for mercy.

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Your face may now be hid,

But my cry will reach Your ears,

I know You won’t leave me,

I’ve no reason to fear.

My thirst will be satisfied,

Hope will be reborn,

I’ll wait on You, my Lord -

A watchman waiting for dawn.

I remember saying to a friend not many weeks ago that I didn't think I would ever be uprooted in my walk with God again, as I felt so close to the Lord...if there is one lesson I have learned from this experience of the Lord hiding His face, it is this: It is He alone who sustains us. If I stand firm through the battles, it is by His grace alone. I can see in verse 6 of Psalm 30 that David likewise seemed to be trusting his ability to stand firm - "When I felt secure I said I will never be shaken". The experience of the Lord hiding His face quickly brought him closer to the truth - that it was the Lord alone who sustains Him in those times of safety - "You made my mountain stand firm, but when You hid Your face, I was dismayed." The reality is that "Apart from Me, you can do nothing". The reality is, as Paul Washer says, apart from Him, we can't even breathe. The mercy is that He does draw near, that He delights to shower His blessings upon us, that in Christ He never leaves us, never forsakes us, because His sacrifice alone has paid it all. He may hide His face, but only for a moment, and for only one reason....to bring us closer still.

Peaks and troughs

Less than 2 weeks ago, I was standing on top of Helvellyn mountain in the Lake District, experiencing such a closeness with the Lord and the wonder of His creation. The words of Isaiah 40 sprang to life in my heart, as the sheer grandness of the Lord spoke to my heart, together with His nearness, the fact that such an awesome Creator would stoop to deposit in my heart His Holy Spirit, through the blood of His Son. I had no words to express my joy.

This week, I have found myself at the bottom of a pit, berating myself for failing to keep my footing secure on the Rock, allowing myself to be cast asunder. I have had no words to express my emptiness. 

Today I found this hymn by John Newton, tucked away inside the Olney Hymns which he wrote with his friend, William Cowper. His words speak for me. 

Return to bless my waiting eyes,

And cheer my mourning heart, O LORD!

Without thee, all beneath the skies

No real pleasure can afford.

When thy loved presence meets my sight,

It softens care, and sweetens toil;

The sun shines forth with double light,

The whole creation wears a smile.

Upon thine arm of love I rest,

Thy gracious voice forbids my fear;

No storms disturb my peaceful breast,

No foes assault when thou art near.

But ah! since thou hast been away,

Nothing but trouble have I known;

And Satan marks me for his prey

Because he sees me left alone.

My sun is hid, my comforts lost,

My graces droop, my sins revive;

Distressed, dismayed, and tempest–tossed,

My soul is only just alive!

LORD, hear my cry and come again!

Put all mine enemies to shame,

And let them see, ’tis not in vain

That I have trusted in thy name.

Feelings come and go. The word of the Lord endures forever. He is my Rock. He is my stronghold. He never changes. 

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:4

How long....

A friend recently counselled when dealing with pain “Be real”.

As a Christian who firmly believes in the sovereignty of Almighty God, I confess I sometimes find this difficult. Knowing that God is in control and allows all things for His glory and His purposes, I so often push aside my pain and ask God to give me the strength to deal with the situation that He has ordained.

I want to jump straight in and shout out Habbakuk’s cry of faith

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Saviour.” 

(Hab 3:17-18).

I have been redirected to the opening chapters of Habbakuk.

Back up. I have been redirected to considering what the name Habbakuk means. To “embrace” or “wrestle”. Here is a prophet who wrestled with God.

And how he wrestled with God in laying bare his heart in verses 2-4 of the opening chapter. “How long?” ;“you do not listen”; “you do not save”.

This is no angry fist-waving, which God forbid we ever do! These are words of a man who has a clear understanding of the nature and character of God. He knows God is a God who listens, who saves, who is a God of justice, does not tolerate wrong, who punishes the wicked and ensures that righteousness prevails. He also has a clear understanding of the wickedness and injustice of the situation he sees around him. These are the words of a man who understands that our God is a relational God, a personal God, a God who says to Isaiah “come now, let us reason together” (Isa 1:18). A God who says “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). Abraham was a friend of God (Isa 41:8), and the LORD would speak with Moses “face to face, as a man speaks with his friend” (Ex 33:11). All these men understood the Holiness of God. They also understood that is only through being honest about their lack of understanding that they could hope to understand more of His ways.

Maybe I’ve been content with my lack of understanding.

I’m starting to see that by faith, there is something more. Ask, seek, knock. If you lack wisdom, ask God.

Habbakuk wasn’t criticised for his questions. The LORD stooped to answer him. Yet the answer Habbakuk received grieved him mightily. “I heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound; decay crept into my bones and my legs trembled” (Hab 3:16). When we have the faith to seek to understand more of God, we will receive greater understanding of His awesome nature. It may increase our mourning, our lament. Our heart and our flesh may fail – BUT GOD is the strength of our hearts and our portion forever. And it is He who will give us the strength to shout out with all of our heart, mind and soul Habakkuk’s cry of faith.

My God, my Rock

During our time of worshipping our God through song last Sunday, I was overcome by the words “you are my God” in one of the songs. This Holy, Holy, Holy God, this Almighty God, creator of the heavens and the universe, who reigns above all in majesty, this Sovereign God who works all things for His pleasure – He has stooped to reveal Himself to me – wretched sinner that I am – has opened my eyes to Him, and has had me brought before Him so that I can call Him “my God”. Mine. I know Him!

Truly, everything in this world pales in comparison to knowing that you know God, that you are known by Him. He is my treasure. He is my reward. In Christ I have everything I need. What a God!

What is man that You’re mindful of him?

For You dwell in a High Holy place –

Yet when this poor wretch called You answered me

And now I can feel Your embrace.

Chorus:

My God, my Rock, my Lord, my King

My hiding place - my soul must sing!

My shield and refuge, my Reward,

My heart and flesh cry out for my Lord!

What is man that You’re mindful of him?

For Your ears are attentive to my cry

You revive lowly spirits and contrite hearts

And now I can stand on the heights.

What is man that You’re mindful of him?

You record the tears of my lament

But in Christ, how my comfort overflows!

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Scripture references: 

Ps 8:4; Isa 57:15; Ps 34:6,15; Ps 18:2,33; Ps 32:7; Ps 84:2; Ps 56:8; 2 Cor 1:5; Neh 8:10

Citius, Altius, Fortius

You were wearied by all your ways,

    but you would not say, ‘It is hopeless.’

You found renewal of your strength,

    and so you did not faint.

Isaiah 57:10

I remember as a child being inspired by stories of endurance. From a young age, marathon runners who pushed themselves beyond the limit to finish their race had a special affection in my heart. As I grew older and watched Olympic Games come and go, one event that captured my attention was the rowing races – every 4 years I would cheer on Sir Steve Redgrave as he helped to row his crew to a gold medal – at 5 consecutive Olympic Games. Gripped by the desire to experience the satisfaction that comes from having pushed yourself to the limit and overcome all temptation to give up, I took up rowing myself, at a time in my life when I was willing to push my body beyond its limits. I became hooked on the feeling of pride that would swell inside whenever I beat my previous best time, pushing myself harder than ever before.

As London prepares to host the Olympic Games at the end of the month, the motto of the Olympics springs to mind: Citius, Altius, Fortius – a Latin expression meaning “Faster, Higher, Stronger”. The Olympic creed as coined by Pierre de Coubertin reads “The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.”

Don’t we like to fight well? When faced with weariness to dig deep, to tap into those inner resources, to pull ourselves up by the bootlaces when all looks lost, to renew our strength when we are about to faint. "Keep Calm and Carry On."

It takes a lot to crush the human spirit.

It takes an act of God to crush the human spirit.

I speak from experience. He had to crush mine.

Yet, frighteningly, His Word tells us that even being crushed by Almighty God does not always bring man to repentance.

O Lord, do not your eyes look for truth?

    You struck them, but they felt no pain;

    you crushed them, but they refused correction.

They made their faces harder than stone

    and refused to repent.

Jeremiah 5:3

Yet it is an act of mercy, of kindness, for God to crush the human spirit – that we might recognise our spiritual bankruptcy, our inability to offer Him anything of righteousness in and of ourselves – and cry out for mercy and grace.

And oh! How that grace flows when we come to this blessed place!

For this is what the high and lofty One says—

    he who lives forever, whose name is holy:

“I live in a high and holy place,

    but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit,

to revive the spirit of the lowly

    and to revive the heart of the contrite.”

Isaiah 57:15

Sometimes, the strongest thing we can ever do is to cry out “Lord, it is hopeless!”

O tender soul

"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs" (Eph 5:19)

O tender soul, lift up your eyes

To see the One who paid the sacrifice

"It is finished!" His final cry

Ris'n, ascended, now at the Father's side

O tender soul, open your ears

Our Advocate bids us come and draw near

No condemnation - we've been set free!

He has promised He'll strengthen the weak

Chorus:

The Way is open, through Christ draw near

Our sins forgiven, no need to fear

The very throne room of heav'n awaits

Lead us, Spirit, that we might find mercy and grace!

O tender soul, hold out your hands

He will raise and lift us up so we can stand

In Christ Jesus we have victory!

May He open our eyes so we can see

O tender soul, come, seek His face

With confidence approach the throne of grace

His intercession will never cease

May this knowledge fill our hearts with peace.

Chorus

"The Spirit lifted me up"

Reading through Ezekiel recently, I was struck by the number of times that Ezekiel fell face down before the Lord. I counted 6 (Ezekiel 1:28, 3:23, 9:8, 11:13, 43:3, 44:4). Ezekiel was a prophet blessed with an almost indescribable vision of the glory of God, and in the blinding light of that glory there is no other response. So many others also fell down on their faces before the Lord: Abraham (Gen 17:3), Moses and Aaron (Numbers 20:6), Joshua (Joshua 5:14), Balaam (Numbers 22:31), Manoah and his wife (Judges 13:20), David (1 Chr 21:16), Jehoshaphat (2 Chr 20:18), Daniel (Daniel 10:9).

The disciples fell face down to the ground terrified when Jesus was transfigured before their very eyes in all His glory (Matthew 17:6).

And our Lord Himself, the perfect, sinless, spotless Son of God, in Whom all the fullness of the Deity dwells in bodily form, fell with His face to the ground in prayer before His Heavenly Father (Matthew 26:39).

Jesus was then lifted up as He bore our sins in His body on the tree (John 3:14).

Jesus was then raised to life on the third day (1 Cor 15:4).

Jesus was then exalted to the right hand of God, above the heavens (Hebrews 7:26).

“See, my Servant will act wisely, 

He will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted” 

(Isa 52:13).

And just as Ezekiel testifies in 6 places that “The Spirit lifted me up” (Eze 3:12, 3:14, 8:3, 11:1, 11:24, 43:5) so too as we bow down with our faces on the ground before our Holy, Holy, Holy God we can testify that:

As we lift up our soul to the LORD (Ps 25:1);

As we lift up our hands towards the Most Holy Place for mercy and help (Ps 28:2)

As we lift up our eyes to Him for mercy (Ps 123:1-3);

As we lift our voices to Him for mercy (Ps 142:1):

He lifts up all who are bowed down (Ps 145:14);

He has lifted us up out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and the mire (Psalm 40:2);

He has given us His Spirit, who raised Jesus from the dead, giving life to our mortal bodies (Rom 8:11)

He has raised us up with Christ (Eph 2:6);

He has seated us with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph 2:6);

We will be raised at the last day (John 6:40).

Our pastor commented on Sunday that when you look at the wheat and the tares, the tares stand proudly and fruitless amongst the wheat which bows down under the weight of its fruit (see Matthew 13:24-30).  May we continue to bow down before our Holy, Holy, Holy God, that He may lift us up.

"A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honour" (Prov 29:23)