Incarnation and Cross

This Christmas the incarnation of the Son of God has been placed firmly alongside the cross of Christ in my mind. I have found it hard to separate the two. I can’t sing of the glorious wonder of the incarnation and the hope that brings to the world without feeling deep in my bones the suffering to come upon the cross.

I have been struck by the words of Simeon to Mary when she and Joseph brought Jesus to Jerusalem. This righteous, devout man, who had been waiting for the consolation of Israel, blessed Mary and Joseph and said to Mary:

“This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too” 

(Luke 2:34-35).

I can’t begin to imagine how Mary must have felt to hear these words. Up until this moment, the announcement of the angelic messenger to her has been of the victorious reign of Christ (Luke 1:32-33). When the shepherds visited to worship at the birth of Christ, they must also have shared with Mary the uplifting message the angels gave them (Luke 2:10-14). A theology of glory could arguably have taken root in her mind.

Now Simeon’s words introduce her to the theology of the cross.

No other book has made a greater impact on me in 2011 than Michael Horton’s A Place for Weakness. An online book discussion helped me to really grasp the difference between the theology of glory and the theology of the cross – the difference between looking for God “in powerful places; in health, wealth and happiness; in perfect families and prosperous nations” -  but God “is truly to be found in the weak things of the world” (p. 37). And no greater place than at the cross, where the death of Christ must have seemed completely irreconcilable with the belief in the never-ending reign of Christ on David’s throne – yet it is precisely at this point, as Mary watched her Son die and felt that sword piercing her own soul too, that victory over sin and death was being won.

“God nowhere promises us temporal prosperity, but the way he has redeemed us makes all of our trials cruciform, that is, shaped not by the circumstances themselves but by the suffering and victory of Christ” (p.47).  As a family, we have experienced some trials over this Christmas period – yet through it all, the promise of Christ has held sway over our hearts: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5) for at Christmas we remember and celebrate that “the true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world” (John 1:9). “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned” (Isa 9:2).

We continue to live in a land of deep darkness, a land that continues to feel the terrible effects of sin, but to those of us who believe, who now see the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ, neither sin nor death has the last word, for: 

“Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!” 

(1 Cor 15:57).


"The people that walked in darkness" from Handel's Messiah

Silent Awe

Loch Awe, Scotland

My flesh trembles in fear of you; I stand in awe of your laws. 

(Psalm 119:120)

I could never be described as “verbally verbose” as my family and friends will testify. Instead, I am a “reflective ruminator” and have found in writing a perfect outlet for my thoughts about God.

And now I find myself in an unusual position where words will not come, sentences get typed and deleted, once even a whole post was published and then deleted.

I have been so conscious these last few weeks of an urge to know God better, to really pursue Him with all I possess, to stand in the council of the Lord (Jer 23:18). As I have sought Him, I have been undone by the Holy Law of God which emptied me of any self-reliance and drove me into the open arms of Grace.

And with the scars of attempting to live by the perfect Law of God still fresh in my mind, to “Do this and live”, I see once again the huge gulf between the Holiness of God and the sinfulness of man. And whilst I taste of the sweetness of Grace once again and the blessed comfort of coming to One who calls “It is finished! Come and follow me!” I look around me at the world in which I live which knows nothing of Grace, and suppresses the truth of God’s law in its conscience as it follows after wickedness, and my flesh trembles in fear of God and I stand in awe of His laws and His judgements.

“But the LORD is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him.” Hab 2:20.

“Be silent before the Sovereign LORD, for the day of the LORD is near.” 

Zeph 1:7

Sometimes silent awe before a Holy God is all we can offer. 

I want to know Him!

6th February 2013
I wrote these words many months ago under a weight of conviction. I posted and then deleted as my repentance and seeking was too fresh, too close and too precious to share. Today I am ready to share these words with you and pray they will bless and encourage you to seek more of Him too. 

2nd November 2011
It is almost 20 years since the day the Holy Spirit brought conviction to me regarding sin, righteousness and judgement, and gave me the gift of faith which brought me into the Kingdom as a child of God. And the last few days I have been cut to the heart as the Holy Spirit has brought conviction over this verse of Scripture:

“Jesus answered: 
‘Don’t you know me, Philip, 
even after I have been among you 
such a long time?’”

How can it be possible to have walked with God 20 years and yet feel like I do not know Jesus? It is as if I have been scrabbling in the dust at the feet of Jesus, rather than holding onto His feet with my own hands.

I have been reading this sermon by Charles Spurgeon, “Do you know Him?” based on Paul’s heartcry “I want to know Christ!” (Philippians 3:10). He makes the point that it is entirely possible to be content with knowing Christ’s historic life, to prize the doctrine of Christ, to desire to walk in the footsteps of Christ, to know of Christ’s sacrifice and that your sin is taken away by His precious blood – and yet still not know Him!

“Others there are who know Christ's doctrine, and prize it too, but they know not Him...My beloved, surely if you know the doctrine of Jesus, if you have so been with Christ as to sit at his feet and hear what he has to say, you must, I hope, have had some longings to know him—to know his person; and if you have, you will have had to pass by multitudes of followers of Jesus who rest satisfied with his words, but forget that he is himself "THE WORD."...

How often I have rested content in reading and hearing the words of Christ, making sure I have understanding of correct doctrine - but have not sought Him!

"Others there be who have been persuaded by the judgment and encouragement of others, that they know something about the great Redeemer. They do not know Him, but still they are persuaded by others that they have an interest in Him. Let me warn you of second-hand spirituality, it is a rotten, soul-deceiving deception.” 

I know of too many times in my own life when I am content to read what others have to say of Christ, I even spend plenty of time thinking about what they have said about Christ as I mull it over, and it brings delight to my heart.  I hear the words of CS Lewis : “We are like ignorant children who want to continue making mud pies in a slum because we cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a vacation at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” How I have been far too easily pleased to rest in thinking about Him! And now I hear Jesus saying to me “Don’t you know Me?”

Can it be possible to have prayed for 20 years and still not know Jesus? Spurgeon says “As I might say that I know a man merely because I meet him every day, and ask him for what I want, and understand that he is kind and generous; but how shallow is such an acquaintance, for I do not know his private character nor his inward heart. Even so a believer may have constant dealings with Christ in his prayers and in his praises, and yet for all that, he may have only gone a certain distance, and may have need still to pray, "That I may know Him."

Can it be possible to have been invited in to eat at His table and still not know Him in the highest sense? "But you are said to know a person better still when he invites you to his house....Well, now, that is better. We are getting now into something like knowing a man; and I do trust there are many of you, beloved, who have got as far as this with regard to your divine Lord. Christ has entertained you with some rare visits from his gracious presence. He brought you into the banqueting-house, and his banner over you was love. When he manifested himself, he did it unto you as he did not unto the world. He was pleased in the majesty of his condescension, to take you aside and show you his hands and his side. He called you "Friend;" he treated you as such, and permitted you to enjoy thine sweets of being one of the family.  Ah, but you may go into a man's house as a constant visitor, and yet you may not know him—that is to say, not in the highest sense."

Oh, how my heart longs and cries out to know Him! I realise I know so little of what these verses mean: 

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish,will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” 

I know so little of this asking, seeking, and knocking, this waiting on God. Wrestling with God as I have sought to understand His forgiveness, His cleansing power, His love....yes. But I have to confess I have not sought HIM through His Spirit, and I am heartbroken over this. And I believe this is why I feel I do not know Him, for Jesus tells us this:

"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you." 

And then I read these verses of Scripture, as Jesus speaks to a lukewarm church:

“Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” 

And I am so so encouraged in my heart! This rebuke I have received from Him is because He loves me! How I gladly repent! And I will continue to press on for more. And I echo Spurgeon when he says “Mark, I am finding no fault with any of these who prize the history, or who value the doctrine, or who admire the precept; but I want more. I do want, beloved, that you and I should "know HIM."

The Voice of the Lord

Over and over again, the Scriptures confirm to us that what marks our God out as different from the idols is that whilst they “have mouths but cannot speak” (eg Psalm 115:5), His voice is powerful and majestic (Psalm 29:4).

God merely had to speak and the heavens and the earth were created (Genesis 1). Yesterday I was humbled by my 6 year old boy when I pointed out the beautiful colours in the sky to him and said “Look, Harry, God has taken His paintbox out and has painted the sky!” and he replied to me “No, Mummy, God just had to SPEAK to do that!”

Whilst Adam and Eve were able to speak with God freely in the Garden of Eden, the Fall destroyed this relationship. Now evicted from the Garden, sinful man finds it impossible to respond to God.

But “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27).

For the Son of God speaks, and His words have power:

I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. I tell you the truth, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live. 

(John 5:24-25)

Those of us who have been called heard the very voice of the Son of God speaking to us! And now, as His sheep, we continue to listen to His voice (John 10:27).

God spoke to His people through Isaiah when He promised: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21) And this promise was fulfilled when He sent His Spirit. “But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come (John 16:13).

I was so thankful that the Comforter ministered comfort to me earlier this year. In March, watching the television pictures of the devastating tsunami in Japan, I realised I was watching the effects of God speaking. “He…who calls for the waters of the sea and pours them out over the face of the land— the LORD is his name” (Amos 5:8). I was literally laid low by the majestic, powerful voice of the Lord – lying face down on the floor, trembling in awe of Almighty God and the power of His voice, and feeling somewhat fearful in His presence. And the Holy Spirit reminded me that God remains my Heavenly Father, no matter what judgement falls upon the earth, because I approach Him in the Name of His Son. That blessed comfort undid me even more as I contemplated the sheer wonderment of the grace extended to sinners that we can call Almighty God our Heavenly Father!

The Scriptures clearly declare a future time when God will speak powerfully to all people and all nations of the earth. Isaiah 63 tells us that when the Messiah returns to the earth, He will come “speaking in righteousness, mighty to save” on this day of vengeance.  

“The Mighty One, God, the LORD, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to the place where it sets. From Zion, perfect in beauty, God shines forth. Our God comes and will not be silent; a fire devours before him, and around him a tempest rages. He summons the heavens above, and the earth, that he may judge his people" 

(Psalm 50:1-4)

This will be a time when all people and all nations of the earth will be silenced, except for the resounding declaration when every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father!

A Mother's Prayer

I ask not for riches for my little boy;

His poverty – this is my plea;

That poor in his spirit he’d cry out to You;

From all trust in self he would flee.

I ask not that happiness fills all his days,

But fear of his Holy God grows;

That mourning both sin and contempt for Your Name,

Your comfort in Christ he would know.

I ask not that he’d do all he wants to achieve,

But instead would submit to Your will;

And as he learns meekness, You’d teach him Your ways,

In awe of You he would “Be still”.

I ask not that he’d be satisfied with his lot,

But a hunger and thirst he would feel,

And for righteousness’ sake a slave he would be,

Your Spirit in him as Your seal.

I ask not for accolades in his career,

But mercy to others he’d show;

Keen to forgive those who’ve wronged him at all,

His own sins once scarlet - now snow.

I ask not that he’d win the acclaim of his friends,

But Your face alone he would seek;

His conscience now cleansed by the blood of the Lamb

Your truth from his heart he would speak.

I ask not that his life from trouble be free,

But his work be the gospel of peace,

And that deep in his heart his sonship he’d know

So that fear and worry can cease.

O Lord, now I’m trembling - please come, strengthen me,

Voice faltering as I intercede;

Should he be persecuted because of his faith

I pray that Your grace meets our need.

(based on Matthew 5:3-10)

Freedom in Christ

“Realise your identity in Christ; find growth, meaning and fulfilment as a Christian; become the person God wants you to be”. I was hooked in on these claims for Neil Anderson’s Freedom in Christ course, and attended along with others in our church about 11 years ago, longing to walk into my freedom. At that time I was very aware that I was neither growing as a Christian, or walking in freedom. However, I came out of the course under a heavier weight of condemnation than I had ever known, as I had not been able to claim my freedom in Christ.

Looking back now, I can see more clearly the reasons why I did not find my freedom through this course. At the time, my husband and I were bemused by the fact that the bulk of the course was preoccupied with a correct understanding of our identity in Christ, especially our self-perceptions, and that if we recited positive scriptural truths about ourselves this was the key to freedom. At the end of the course the participants were given a “Who I am in Christ” sheet with about 30 scripture verses referenced and summarised in bullet point form, and we were supposed to recite aloud these summaries daily for 40 days – eg “I am God’s child, I am God’s friend, I am the salt and light of the earth…” Even today, I would struggle to go through that list and say it aloud. For not only are these not the original bible verses,  the emphasis is all wrong. I do not read the Bible to find out what it tells me about me - I read the Bible to learn about God! To learn His ways, to learn His thoughts, to hear His voice speaking through His Word, to have my vision filled up with Christ. I read the Bible so that I can say to God “I praise You! I exalt You! I bow before Your throne and lift Your Name up high!” and wonder of wonders, it IS true that I am His child and He has seated me in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, but that is not my focus. As Elliot Miller says in his critique, comparing this to the teaching of the Apostle Paul in the New Testament, “Anderson is correct that being “in Christ” is the core theological foundation for discipleship and counseling. For Paul, however, this phrase does not so much speak about who we are as who we are in. Self-perception is not the key issue, but rather relationship. Anderson takes this truth and slants it so that it becomes a “biblical” form of self-esteem psychology.”

Biblical? or positive-thinking?

We also struggled to accept the teaching that our behaviour flows from our self-belief. According to Anderson, if we believe ourselves to be sinners, then we will sin; conversely we should instead believe ourselves to be saints who occasionally sin, and our behaviour will follow. By diminishing the problem of sin in this way, and failing to see the horror and pervasiveness of sin in its biblical context, the process of Christian sanctification is reduced to reprogramming our self-perceptions and is thus nullified. Instead, the bible teaches of the necessity to crucify the flesh (Col 3:5) and put on Christ, walking in the power of His Spirit (Rom 8:10-14).

The course concludes with a 4-6 hour freedom appointment going through the “Seven steps to freedom”, renouncing generational curses, strongholds, and forgiving others, repenting of pride and rebellion, at the end of which the participant is told they have found their freedom in Christ. For a more detailed critique of the problems with the seven steps to freedom, especially with regards to generational curses, see this article. This 7-step procedure has all the issues associated with saying the 'sinner's prayer' and assuming salvation is assured. As Tozer says, "I believe that a true 'sinner's prayer' will gush out of anyone who is truly seeking God and is tired of being enslaved to sin...The greatest reason I believe that God can be grieved with the current use of such tools as the “altar call” and “sinner’s prayer” is because they can take away the conviction of the Holy Spirit prematurely, before the Spirit has time to work repentance leading to salvation." And I would argue the same is true of going through a 7-step procedure to claim your freedom in Christ - this takes away from the sovereign work of the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer.

I have since found my freedom in Christ, but not through a 7-step course. My freedom in Christ has been won for me by the very real, very personal, dynamic and powerful work of the Holy Spirit in my life, as I have spent time walking with my God, and as He has revealed to me all that the finished work of Christ has accomplished on my behalf. It was just about a year ago when I stumbled over the edge of another cliff spiritually-speaking. From the depths of my pit as I cried out to God for help, a friend offered me the wisest counsel I have ever had: “What you need is a touch from your Heavenly Father, and He is both willing and able, because He loves you.” Now it takes confidence to say these words - to have a simple trust in our Father, and not resort to some kind of technique or 7-step programme - a confidence that comes from knowing Whom we have believed. And as I waited on Him, He came and He did touch me as He opened my eyes to see Truth in His Word! There is nothing that can ever substitute for a personal touch from Him, as He sovereignly chooses to deal with each one of us individually, in His own way, in His own time. There are no short-cuts. There is no “how to”. There is instead relationship: getting to know Him better through reading the Word, spending time in His presence, submitting to His will, wrestling when we don’t have understanding, listening to His voice and being led by His Spirit, seeking Him with all of our hearts, confident in the final outcome for we know that He has given us this most wonderful promise: 

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” 

(Jer 29:13)

The joy of wrestling with God

 “Jacob said, Please tell me your name. But he replied, Why do you ask my name? Then he blessed him there. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared. The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.” 

Gen 32:29-31.

Wrestling by its very nature is painful. Wrestling with God is no less  so, even though we know it is for our own good that He arrests us, takes hold of us, and grapples us to the ground if need be. Jacob limped away from wrestling with God.  

Yet I am starting to see that there is a deep, profound joy in this wrestle.

For one thing, it is a joyful thing that God Himself would condescend to wrestle with His creatures at all! That He would recognise our weakness, and hold Himself back from wrestling us to the point of ruin, instead seeking our own good through it. For let me be clear, when I speak of wrestling with God I am not speaking of us raising our fists to heaven and angrily demanding an explanation from Him as to His ways. I am speaking of the wonder and awesomeness of His dealing with us intimately in order to break us to a point of submission to His Way.

Not only the fact that we can wrestle with God – but it is His sovereign act of will to engage with us.  “So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.” – Genesis 32:24. The Man came to Jacob. Is there anything more joyful than this? That God would choose to open our eyes that we might see more clearly, understand that little bit more of His ways which are so much higher than our ways, that we might know Him better, more deeply, see more of His Glory and give Him more praise as a result!

He gives us the strength to enable us to wrestle with Him. No mortal man is capable of wrestling with Almighty God in his own weakness – it is He who supplies the strength for us to do this, who gives us the very desire in our hearts to know more of Him, who gives us the desire to cling onto Him and not let go until we have received a blessing from Him…

Which is the source of more great joy – wrestling with God results in blessing! To struggle with Him, to have our eyes opened to more of our sin, to see more of His Holiness and Majesty, to acknowledge His sovereignty over every aspect of our lives, to bow our will to His – we cling to Him and dare not let go until we have received His blessing of this enlarged vision and a greater filling of His Spirit!

As I continue to wrestle with God, no matter how painful it may be, no matter how much I am limping, I count it pure joy that my God has not finished with me yet and would deign to reveal more of Himself to me, that I may see Him, the One my heart yearns for, more clearly - and that He would bless me in the very process!