The Truth will set you free

I have been marvelling at many things these last few days. “Praise be to the LORD God, the God of Israel, who alone does marvellous deeds.” – Psalm 72:18.

I marvel at the way in which God shines new light into your life to give you eyes to see. I am reminded of when Jesus healed the blind man in Mark 8:22-26, and after Jesus put his eyes on the man’s eyes, the man could see the people looked like trees walking around. After Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes a second time, the man’s eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. The new light God has shone into my life has shown me that I have been living in a land of walking trees for my whole Christian walk.

I marvel at the depravity of my own heart – maybe “marvel” is not quite the right word, but you know what I mean. How I can think I am following wholeheartedly after God and His ways….and then suddenly more light falls across my path, and the darkness in which I have been walking is exposed.

Truth. We worship the God of Truth (Psalm 31:5), Jesus Christ is the Truth (John 14:6), the Spirit of Truth has been sent into our hearts (John 16:13), God’s Word is Truth (John 17:17), we are sanctified by truth (John 17:17) and one day we will dwell in the City of Truth (Zech 8:3).

Deception and truth are no friends. And yet I have found myself swept up into a world of deception as I have sought to protect my sister from knowledge which I have believed would cause her pain in her world of rituals, as she seeks to find her security in a “contamination-free world” and I have tried to reassure her that we are keeping things “clean”. (This post explains more). And the new light I have been given has shown me that in my desire to protect my sister, I have unwittingly been causing her to rely more and more on her rituals and the false security these can give her, rather than placing her trust in the One True God who has the power to set her free. I have also brought dishonour to the precious Name of my Lord and Saviour by not proclaiming truth in all circumstances. These last few days have been intensely painful.

I marvel at the forgiveness we have in Christ. That in Him ALL our sins are forgiven, that we can come before Him at the foot of the cross, and know that because He is the Truth and His Word is Truth, when we confess our sins God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.

I marvel at the steadiness and confidence I now know, now that I have God’s belt of truth buckled firmly around my waist. He has given me a boldness to speak the Truth to Helen in love.

I marvel at the way God is speaking to Helen and unsettling her confidence in her rituals and showing her that it is wrong for her to place her trust in these rituals and not in God.

The prayer of my heart: That I will marvel at God’s deliverance of Helen from her rituals and at Him giving her a new song in her mouth and a hymn of praise to our God. I am under no illusions – I know the walk ahead will be a difficult one for us as a family. God has reminded me of the fact that when Moses approached Pharaoh to ask him to let God’s people go, initially things became much more difficult for God’s people. But when God revealed His Name to Moses He told Him the significance of His Name – “I am the LORD (Yahweh) and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.” (Exodus 6:6).


May God have mercy.

You are not alone

The world of online friendships has brought with it so many blessings but surely the hardest aspect of this world is the lack of physical contact. There are times when all you want to do is sit with a dear friend going through a time of suffering and hold them close and weep with them. Words on a screen seem so inadequate at such a time to convey how you feel, how your heart is burdened for them. “Mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).

When I have walked through dark valleys myself, I have always had a desperate urge to know that I am not alone, that there are others who can understand what I am going through, and can identify with how I am feeling, who can show by a look in their eye that they know.  Yet this has rarely happened, for as the Proverb states, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy” (Proverbs 14:10). We all share in the burden of suffering, but each one has been given their own load to carry. Lack of identification with a particular sorrow has not meant a lack of compassion however, and it has been a profound blessing to me to have been given the gift of compassionate friends over the years.

Yet surely the greatest gift of all has been the understanding that my Creator and my Lord is One to whom I can turn for comfort and solace, for having been made in human flesh, he is able to empathize with our weaknesses. He understands. He knows.

So instead of being able to hug my dear friend and weep with her, I point her to Him, and I lift her up before Him, carrying her burden to the One who “goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

I AM NOT ALONE (written in 1999)

The greatest fear I have is that I’m on my own

That no-one can truly understand what I am going through

Dark nights of my soul, deep anguish in my heart

From this agony I long to be set free

I needed a friend, someone to stand with me

Who’s suffered the pain and can encourage me

Will I ever comprehend this amazing truth -

My Creator and my Lord can empathize with me

Chorus:
As I look into His eyes

My heart skips a beat – I have to look again

Compassion in His eyes clearly says “I know”

I am reassured that I am not alone.

The pain I feel is nothing when compared with His

The Father turned His back on Him, could not bear to look

Will I ever comprehend the torment of His soul

As on that brutal cross He hung, my sin upon His back

Chorus

My Cup Overflows

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken - Ecc 4:12

A lot happens in 17 years. A lot of growing takes place, many mistakes are made, much forgiveness is given, foundations are solidified, love deepens – and grace abounds.

Except this story begins 19 years ago, when I first set eyes on my future husband at our church’s youth group where he was a leader and I was a helper on my Christmas holiday from university. Yes, it was love at first sight :) But reality then hit home – this man, 8 years my senior, with a faith in God I admired, and eyes I could drown in, would never be interested in me, he was out of my league. So I returned to university and started dating a young man there. Not the best start to a love story…

6 months later, I was back home again from university, single, and Pete was still leading the church youth group. We began dating, 7 weeks later were engaged, and married the following summer, much to the youth group’s delight! Whirlwind romance indeed.

I was a very young Christian when we were married, just over 2 years, and carried a lot of the world’s views into our married life. It never crossed my mind that I might vow to “obey” my husband before God, and as we entered married life my career in a top accountancy firm was uppermost in my list of priorities. I had good intentions of not allowing myself to get sucked into working too many hours. 5 years later I crashed and burned, the pressures of aiming for promotion and the regular 12-hour days I was working taking their toll.

Looking back, that was the best thing that could have happened for our marriage. Resigning my career and losing the company sport’s car were a severe dent to my pride, but the blessing gained from repentance and reordering my priorities to home and family, and more importantly realising my identity is based on who I am in Christ alone, and not the idol of career, has transformed my heart.

The blessing of a child 6 years ago has certainly brought us closer together as a couple, as we recognise our inadequacies at nurturing this little boy’s heart in the ways of the Lord, and lean on Him and His grace for this awesome task. And witnessing the wonderful bond between father and son grow stronger year by year has been a pure joy to behold – I shall never forget the day Harry couldn’t hold back the emotion and wept as he told me how much he loves his dad.

Last week, it struck me that verse 5 in Psalm 23 “You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows” can be a prayer for a wife – that God would anoint the “head” of the wife, the husband, with the Holy Spirit, pour His Spirit into him, grow him in the faith, and then the blessings overflow onto the wife and the whole family. I have seen this to be true in our marriage. These last few years, God has grown Pete’s faith, love and knowledge of Him, and my cup has certainly been overflowing as a result. I pray I never lose sight of this and cry out to God on behalf of my husband daily. For my husband has sacrificed himself so much for me over the years. After I crashed and burned from my career I went through a period of deep struggle with my faith – and for a number of years Pete set aside his work in the church so that he could support me. In the last few years we have both experienced something of a spiritual revival, as God has brought our focus back onto Christ and Him crucified, and by His grace has built for us a much stronger foundation for our faith, and so too, for our marriage.

As we celebrate 17 years of marriage together in a couple of weeks’ time, I am much aware that marriage is a sign and a symbol given by God, placed within the fabric of society, pointing to the glory of Christ, the mystery of Christ and the church. And I am so aware that neither of us have the ability to live up to that calling. Instead, my confidence is in the grace of God. May God’s grace sustain us through our weaknesses, and may He be glorified as a result.

Meditation on the 23rd Psalm

Every now and again God’s good gifts come knocking at your door and, instead of politely waiting to be invited in, crash through the door in an overwhelming flood. I am still reeling from the fact that in just a few weeks time I will, by God’s grace, have the opportunity to meet face to face with some of my dearest online friends. This is truly a gift beyond gifts. To say I am excited about this is an understatement. I prefer the word “verklempt”.

In this frame of mind, I have been struggling to find any clarity of thought to write a blog post. I thought it would be fitting to share with you instead an article written by the greatest gift God has given me in my life, my dear husband Pete. Next month we celebrate 17 years of married life together, and his love for me has been demonstrated by his providing me with this gift of meeting up with my friends. He is truly, as his name means, my rock.

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The LORD is my shepherd, I’ll not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I fear no evil, for you are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You have anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and loving-kindness will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

The LORD is the personal name of God and was first given to the Jews through the prophet Moses. However, this name has not been pronounced by the Jews because of reverence for the great sacredness of the divine name. It has often been transliterated Yahweh but the actual pronunciation is uncertain. Consequently it is translated the LORD in our bibles. Its meaning ‘I AM that I AM’ carries the sense that God is saying that He will be the ever present ever faithful God. Actually these very qualities are attributed to Jesus in the book of Hebrews where it says that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. In short the nearest one word English equivalent is the word always.

In the bible there are seven occasions when this precious and beautiful name of God is linked with another word in the Scriptures. Each of these names reveals some aspect of the nature and character of God - who He is and what He wants to be or do in our lives. The meaning of each of these names is revealed throughout this well known and greatly loved psalm.

Yahweh Rohi actually means Yahweh (The LORD) is my shepherd.

Yahweh Jireh means Yahweh is my provider. And if God is my provider then truly I shall not want!

Yahweh Rapha means Yahweh is my healer, the One who restores my soul.

Yahweh Shalom means Yahweh is my peace. The One who makes me rest by still waters.

Yahweh Tsikendhu means Yahweh is my righteousness. He is the One who can lead me in paths of righteousness.

Yahweh Shammah means Yahweh is ever present even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

Yahweh Nissi means Yahweh is my banner the one who prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies.

I believe that it is a great shame that we do not know how to say God’s personal name, a name that he graciously gave to mankind, a name to be used in the context of a loving family or the closest of friendships. As such it is a lovely reminder of the relationship Christians have with God. We are His slaves, friends and even more wonderfully, sons and daughters. To enjoy this relationship and come to know him as Father, as Jesus taught us, we need to acknowledge that our desire to rule our own lives (what the bible calls sin) has cut us off from this relationship. However, the good news of the gospel is that if we come to him in repentance; acknowledging that He has the right to rule our lives and that He loves us as a Father who truly knows and wants what is best for us, then this relationship can be restored because Jesus died so that our rebellion (sin) against Him can be forgiven.

Love, laughter and friends

Even in laughter the heart may ache.... Proverbs 14:13

A friend recently shared on Facebook how Spurgeon thanked God for the gift of laughter:

“Rev. Theodore L. Cuyler, the celebrated Brooklyn divine, was visiting the famous London preacher, Rev. Charles H. Spurgeon. After a hard day of work and serious discussion, these two mighty men of God went out into the country together for a holiday. They roamed the fields in high spirits like boys let loose from school, chatting and laughing and free from care. Dr. Cuyler had just told a story at which Mr. Spurgeon laughed uproariously. Then suddenly he turned to Dr. Cuyler and exclaimed, ‘Theodore, let’s kneel down and thank God for laughter!’ And there, on the green carpet of grass, under the trees, two of the world’s greatest men knelt and thanked the dear Lord for the bright and joyous gift of laughter.”

I likewise thank my God for the bright and joyous gift of laughter. It has been my absolute joy to laugh along with my dear friends in recent days. It has been a pure tonic for my soul, and I trust it has for them too.

For we are living in strange times. I have come to the point where I hesitate before turning on the news, almost bracing myself as I wonder what I’m going to discover has happened in the world overnight. Uprisings in the Middle East, western nations on the verge of economic collapse, natural disasters affecting every part of the globe.

I live in a nation which has turned its back on the ways and statutes of the Lord God Almighty, where the idols of the land are sport and celebrity, and I have never felt more like an “alien and stranger in the world” (1 Pe 2:11).

I watch the church turning its back on the Holiness and Awesomeness of God Almighty in favour of embracing God All-matey and a burden grows in my heart that cannot be shifted. Finding like-minded pilgrims seems to be a much harder task these days, and a loneliness grows in my spirit.

I read of the increasing persecution of the church worldwide, I see pictures of the faces of families living in fear of their lives for claiming the Name of Christ in a land where Islam is the dominant religion, and I am haunted by those faces and I suffer with them.

Closer to home, I daily battle against indwelling sin, even whilst knowing that in Christ I have died to sin. I witness loved ones struggling to cope with the everyday routines of life, and I long for that day when there will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain.

I have often wondered whether our Lord, who was a “man of sorrows” (Isa 53:3), laughed with his friends. Matthew Henry notes that "We never read that He laughed, but often that He wept".  RC Sproul takes this view: "In the Wisdom Literature of the Old Testament—for example, in Ecclesiastes—we’re told that certain things are appropriate at certain times. There’s a time to plant, a time to reap, a time to build, a time to tear down; there’s a time to dance, a time to sing, a time to laugh, a time to cry. Since God has, in his seasons, appointed appropriate times for laughter, and Jesus always did what was appropriate, it would seem to me that when it was time to laugh, he laughed."

I thank my God that in His great mercy and love He has provided me with a group of friends whom I love dearly, for we share a tie that can never be broken - the precious blood of Christ; who share the same sorrows; and yet with whom I can share the occasional moment of laughter, sometimes even with tears rolling down my cheeks whilst I do so.

But as for the burden and the ache in my heart, that will remain until He returns or calls me home.

I will trust in You

At one time, trust came so easily. Trusting in God was just a natural heart-response to who He is, what He has done, and what He has promised He will do in the future. I didn’t even have to think about it – I simply trusted Him.

Today….well, as one who believes that we should be honest with ourselves, with God and with others…it is something I am having to choose to do. Not because I doubt God and His character - but because I am allowing myself to become too distracted by circumstances. The account of Peter’s response to Jesus walking on water springs to mind.

“During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. 'It's a ghost', they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: 'Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid'. 'Lord, if it's you', Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water'. 'Come', he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came towards Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!' Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith', he said, 'why did you doubt?' And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshipped him, saying, 'Truly you are the Son of God'.” (Mt 14:25-33)

Like Peter, my eyes have dwelt too long on the wind. I look at the wind blowing in my personal circumstances and I become afraid; I look at the wind blowing in worldwide situations and I become afraid. I need to fill my vision up with Christ, the One who has the power to cause the wind to die down, and Who triumphs over all.

I’m currently reading The Attributes of God by Arthur W. Pink - thanks to Diane Bucknell and her recent book giveaway :) Today I read this passage on the faithfulness of God, which really encouraged me, especially as it contains a verse which a dear friend recently shared with me.

“There are seasons in the lives of all when it is not easy, no not even for Christians, to believe that God is faithful. Our faith is sorely tried, our eyes bedimmed with tears, and we can no longer trace the outworkings of His love. Our ears are distracted with the noises of the world, harassed by the atheistic whisperings of Satan, and we can no longer hear the sweet accents of His still small voice. Cherished plans have been thwarted, friends on whom we relied have failed us, a professed brother or sister in Christ has betrayed us. We are staggered. We sought to be faithful to God, and now a dark cloud hides Him from us. We find it difficult, yes, impossible, for carnal reason to harmonize His frowning providence with His gracious promises. Ah, faltering soul, severely tried fellow pilgrim, seek grace to heed Isaiah 50:10, "Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God."

Christine Pack shared this quote today on Facebook: ‎"In short, God in his mercy to you, will put you in a place where you cannot control the circumstances and you have no choice but to cry out to him for help...The next time you are in what appears to be an impossible situation, think less about yourself and what you are losing and more about God and what you gain by trusting and resting in him." - The Counseling Solutions Group.

So as I shift my focus from my circumstances and instead contemplate God and who He is, what He has done, and what He has promised to do, my heart can only cry out in response to His asking me “Do you trust Me?” with the words of the psalmist:

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.

Psalm 73:25-26

Peace with God

"When trouble comes, whether external or internal threats to our physical or spiritual welfare, we are to turn inside out. Our first inclination at these times is the opposite. Like a turtle withdrawing into its shell at the sign of danger, we turn inward and grab hold of our own resources to sustain us. But as counterintuitive as it is for us, we must turn outward at precisely these times and hope only in the Lord, whatever our conscience threatens, whatever blandishments Satan offers, whatever our experience tells us is the obvious case" (Michael Horton, A Place for Weakness, p.176/7).

PEACE WITH GOD

Restless searching of my heart, striving for its goal

To find the one thing that it lacked - peace within my soul.

I thought I’d found it once, you see, and nothing could now come

To take away my peace with God through Jesus, His Own Son.

Eyes were lifted high to see the Glorious King of Kings,

Ears echoed with the gospel promise that only Jesus brings,

How sweet the taste of God’s own Word , pure honey on my lips

A heart transformed from stone to flesh, locked in Heaven’s grip.

My heart o’erflowed with peace and hope as I stood on mountain peaks,

By God’s grace He held me close, such joy I couldn’t speak;

And dimmer grew the memory of a darker, harder walk,

And lighter was the grip I held of helmet, shield and sword.

One well-judged blow from the enemy sent me crashing to the ground

I lay there dazed and wounded, armour scattered all around

But what caused me the greatest grief as I tried to stand once more

Was feeling that my peace was gone, peace with my Loving Lord.

How can this be? I asked myself, tears streaming down my face

For God’s elect always have peace once given by His grace –

I drew a sad conclusion then that filled my heart with fear

I’d never really known His peace, never been drawn near.

But then through dark and brooding clouds I heard a distant cry

The voice of saints exhorting me - “Pick up your sword and fight!”

Eyes now growing clearer, I grasped that precious blade

And once I felt it in my hands my soul was less afraid.

For now I saw that God’s own Word speaks Truth for all to hear

Defeating lies of enemies and driving out my fear

“Since we’ve been justified by faith, we have peace with God!”

The sword had done its work once more, my feet stood on firm Rock.

Oh! peace with God! Such blessed peace! ‘tis sweeter now I see

That what I thought I’d lost I’ve found, was never gone from me!

I pray I might be wiser now, as I firmly hold my sword

Not trusting in my feelings – but the Word of my Lord.